Anthony Davis Not Making The All Star Team Is Probably Going To Cost Him A Cool $23 Million Dollars

This is because of the Rose Rule. In your rookie deal you gotta make either start 2 All-Star games, make 2 All-NBA teams, or win one MVP in order to be eligible for a higher max salary. If Davis hits it, his next contract is worth 144.54, if not it’s worth 120.45. All I have to say right now is

HEY, Anthony, you fucking IDIOT… how could you let this happen? You’re gonna cost yourself $23 million bucks because you’re a goddamn moron? How did you not guarantee yourself that you make this All-Star team, knowing what was on the line? And no, I’m not talking about being better on the court, or spending more time in the gym, or any dumb shit like that. I’m talking about using your brain. How could you not think to pay some DraftKings algorithm guru like 5 million bucks to make sure you got the Twitter votes? Or some hacker? Or tweet out “I will give 5 dollars to everyone who retweets this. Anthony Davis #NBAVote.” All you needed was something like 750,000 votes, pay 5 bucks to every voter and you’re still sitting on roughly a 19 million dollar raise. Straight up pay for millions of dollars of marketing, maybe? I don’t know, just find a way to make sure your ass is on that starting squad.

Davis says he doesn’t care, that he’s just worried about the guys in his locker room, but that’s a damn lie. One hundred and twenty million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? One hundred and forty four million dollars. Now you’ve gotta work your dick off in the second half on a dogshit team and hope to grab that extra $23 million. Silly. Just silly. Work smarter, not harder, Anthony. Anyone ever tell you that?

Also, maybe time to workout a better way to provide incentives and/or choose All Stars? In the days of the online vote, when fans can get huge, viral voting schemes going just because we think it’s funny (John Scott is a captain, Zaza Pachulia almost started, and Kobe is starting) contract bonuses should probably be tied to something else. Putting a fortune of a salary bump in the hands of Twitter idiots like myself is silly.