A Guy Whose Apartment Kept Losing Cups Found Out It Was Because His Roommate Was Fucking Them

Theladbible – Reddit user ‘igotthejack’ couldn’t understand why all the drinking glasses were going missing in his house so he went on a quest to find out. However, he really shouldn’t have bothered because what he discovered has no doubt scarred him for life.

Basically, it turns out his housemate had been ‘fucking’ his cups.

One user [in the Reddit], sreed1, said: “I’ve done this a few times, or something very close to it… Dry but soft sponge (think cheap latex foam) was best overall. Warm wet didn’t add much to the sensation but was more of a pain in the ass to setup and does cool quickly.”

Here’s the photo of the cup-based apparatus the guy built along with the dude confronting his roommate over it on Facebook:

Now a lot of people are calling this guy the worst roommate ever and yes, I fully agree that ejaculating into cups people drink out of is poor form. But at least the cups kept disappearing and not returning. Getting traces of jizz from “washed” sex cups turning your beer into a tangy IPA from the vintage American Pie Stiffler collection would make you the worst roommate ever. So this guy is #2 ranked at worst. Though you have to respect how he took the Facebook message confrontation. Making it about a violation of your privacy instead of the fact that you’re making sweet love to kitchenware is a fantastic and not unreasonable diversionary tactic. This dude should probably be locked away from society just to be safe but you can’t hate on the debate skills.

Also you kids today and your Fleshlights and Japanese sex eggs and prison-style cup vaginas. Whatever happened to the good ol’ days where a guy would spit into his palm and crank away until a self-loathing explosion onto an overly stiffened retired washcloth? Feels like a normal jerkin’ is like being a baby boomer these days.

(Guy ignoring girl so he can fuck his mug photo by Shutterstock)