Ted Cruz Talks Shit On New York City, Criticizes "New York Values"
Who the fuck does this Ted Cruz clown think he is? Goddam Kevin Malone lookin ass motherfucker. You Grayson Allen lookin motherfucker. Fuckin Mrs. Doubtfire lookin ass motherfucker. Fake ass Cuban born in Canada Texas hick ass motherfucker. Ted Cruz wouldnt last one second in this city.
I’ll be the first to tell you, and I have about 1,000 times, how much New York sucks. But making fun of New York is like making fun of your mom. I’m allowed to do it but if you try to? You bite your fucking tongue. Keep her name out your mouth. You’re only allowed to make fun of New York if you lived there and been through it. Otherwise shut your goddam face. You dont know what you’re talking about.
And lets talk about New York Values for a second. We value our time, our money, and opportunity, like every hardworking, functioning adult should. We’re the financial capital of the world because all the people who want real careers and a real life live here or in other like minded cities. You know why we’re a pro-gay pro-abortion city? Because we’re too busy putting the goddam country on our backs with a 1.5 trillion dollar GDP to worry about shit like that. I dont care about gay people getting married, Ted, because I’m not some wack job religious nut who spends half his day worrying about what a 2,000 year old fairy tale says. Too busy trying to earn my way through life. I’m pro choice because I realize that life is complicated and sometimes the more responsible choice isnt always the easiest one, and I’m not in any position to make that decision for another person that I dont know at all. I’m not a gun toting, gay bashing, planned-parenthood-burning-hick because I’m a goddam modern American that thinks each person should be in control of their own life and should spend their time working to make money and put food on the table as opposed to meaningless nonsense like worrying about who’s fucking who. I value my current life and the current lives of other people around me instead of worrying about what happens when I’m dead, you fucking idiots.
Sucks that everything is expensive as fuck because all the money is made here. Sucks that things get overcrowded and there’s some bums in the streets because everyone flocks to New York City. I guess thats just the price you pay for being the epicenter that props up this country financially. Too busy being the financial capital of planet earth to worry about your hokey shit, Ted Cruz. Suck my New York dick you soft piece of shit.
PS – I feel like playing the 9/11 card is kind of cheap when it comes to these things but I’d be remiss without mentioning that. New York City took one on the chin for this country for all the aforementioned reasons and bounced back faster and stronger than any other city could have because like I said – we value our lives, our family, and our opportunity and nobody was going to take that away from us. The people of this city were on the front lines while you were probably sitting at home worried about who’s allowed to say “I do” to each other. Get lost, Ted Cruz. You stink.
PPS – I’ll still put my money on Ted Cruz winning this election though. He’s probably at about 10,000 to 1 odds and if anyone ever gives you 10,000 to 1 odds you take it. I’m gonna be a very rich man if Ted Cruz ever becomes President
