Unilad – This amazing video – uploaded by Dutch international footballer Demy de Zeeuw – shows what push notifications are like when you have 8 million Instagram followers. Demy won 27 caps for Holland, featuring in the squads at Euro 2008 and the 2010 World Cup.
I think I wouldn’t have been as impressed if this were just for a couple seconds but once that screen kept spinning like a slot machine for almost two minutes straight, it set in for me how insane this is. Not only that this guy is getting so many notifications, but the fact that that many people across the globe are viewing whatever he put out there and are engaging with it at that exact time is also pretty surreal when you think about it. Things that would have taken months, a shitload of paper, and a whole lot of people with time to kill to accomplish just a decade ago can now happen like this before your eyes. The wonders of technology. And also a life that every chick you know in the world would kill for, one without needy “Like my Insta!” pleas sent to her sorority group text.
The one thing I do have to say that seems particularly daunting about having an Instagram as popular as this is that you’d think it’s way easier to creep on girls over DM. And sure the fame and fact that by following they obviously know who you are helps in that regard. But as someone who’s not even remotely famous but still picks up a decent amount of followers, it actually gets pretty hard to keep track of people following you. Back in the day (“the day” being a very subjective time frame) I used to follow back the vast majority of attractive girls who seemed real that followed me because you never know when inspiration may strike and all of a sudden witty tweets turn to flirtatious DMs. But now there gets to be so many dudes or random accounts following that I miss out on girls all the time and kick myself in the head if I notice later because you can’t do that follow back trick way after the fact without being super obvious. It’s a real problem for social media-forward sex addicts. Theoretically.