SOURCE – JOLIET, IL — A Channahon woman “intentionally sneezed” in a bailiff’s face, spattering her with a “mucous-type substance” in a Will County courtroom. Mellissa Estelle, 24, was jailed on a battery charge in connection with the alleged aggravated sneezery.
Estelle was in court Wednesday morning for a traffic case when a bailiff repeatedly reprimanded her for putting her feet on the seats and speaking loudly while the judge was on the bench, police said. Estelle then “got up from her seat, approached the bailiff face to face, within three to four inches, and ‘intentionally sneezed’ into the bailiff’s face,” police said. The bailiff reportedly told county deputies “that ‘a mucous-type substance’ was on her face after the incident.” The bailiff also accused Estelle of pushing her in the chest. Estelle spent more than six hours in jail before she was released on $1,000 bond.
I know what the knee jerk reaction here is going to be. Mellissa (such a Joliet spelling of Melissa by the way) is kind of attractive, she can get a pass on this one. Well I’m here to tell you no. This is a society we live in, there are rules, and one of those rules is if you sneeze on someone, intentionally or not, you’re a sociopath. I don’t even like when people sneeze around me. I’m talking in line at Starbucks, or an Uber driver, or someone 3 seats down from me at a game. Just that sneeze in my general vicinity and I’m holding my breath for a 10 count to keep that shit out of my system. So for someone to sneeze directly on you, on purpose. No. I’m sorry Mellissa but that’s jail, that’s jail and a life sentence with no possibility for parole. Fuck that. If you can intentionally sneeze on another human being then you can do just about anything. Even in Joliet this is way too far, and that’s really saying something.
Whoever made the Sneezy the Dwarf sneezing on Mellissa’s face graphic needs an emmy or whatever the equivalent award would be for local news photoshops. A+