The Eagles Heroic Front Office Has Exhausted Itself And Won't Schedule Any More Interviews
Gotta give credit where credit is due – Howie Roseman and Jeffrey Lurie really went balls deep with their coaching search this offseason. They really didn’t want to hurt themselves. Screw getting as many interviews and different mindsets as possible. Why would you wanna wait and check out Josh McDaniels or Matt Particia? Look at all these hot names right off the presses! Who needs potential when you’ve got yes men?
Doug Pederson – A man who has emerged from under Andy Reid’s gunt for the first time since ’99 to give the ONLY interview he’s ever been on for a NFL Head Coaching position. And it’s not that Pederson can’t be a head coach some day, it’s A) Really? There’s nobody out there better? B) Why hasn’t another NFL team even sniffed around his taint if he’s so smart? And C) REALLY? THERE’S NOBODY BETTER OUT THERE?!?!
Tom Coughlin – A (close to) 70-year-old man of all men who everyone respects but is just simply too damn old and grumpy to deal with this new, and probably, rebuilding project.
Pat Schurmer – Can the runt of the litter also turn out to be the “best” case scenario for the Eagles? Believe it, then meet me on the Walt Whitman.
Duce Staley – Again, love me some 22, but as a player and RB’s coach. That’s pretty much the sentiment of our boy Duce. Plus I’ve played poker with him at Harrah’s before. Great dude, but there doesn’t seem to be a lot of next level thinking going on upstairs.
Ben McAdoo – This guy is getting more and more appealing solely based on process of elimination. For real. I’d rather take a chance on someone with at least a little pedigree, experience, and revere around the league than a Doug Pederson who has hitched his wagon to one gunt. As Homer Simpson put it best, the two sweetest words in the English language:
Maybe more viable candidates would be interested if the Eagles brass were actually looking for the best head coach instead of the most likely kiss ass who won’t ruffle the feathers of the front office. Just a thought.