The Internet Is Convinced Powerball Could End Poverty

Brian Hadden put himself in a pretzel

Well would you look at that! The Internet has cracked the case. Not only have we solved Powerball, but now every single person in America is RICH. We’re all millionaires. Of course, then everything is all relative. You gotta just adjust prices and costs and perceptions if everyone were to all the sudden have millions. Now the poverty line is just $4,33 million. If you have $4.33 mil then you’re a poor piece of shit. Poverty is all a state of mind, man. Its all relative.

And fuck all these people who think Powerball should just be given to poor people. Its not called PoorerBall, ok? For real, shitty math aside, this idea that we gotta just give away money to the Poors is a joke. Why stop with Powerball winnings? Why dont we all just give our paychecks to the Poors? There’s billions spent on Christmas every year…how about we just cancel Christmas and give all that money to the bums? From now on, no vacations are allowed. Any money you were going to spend on vacations goes to homeless idiots. If every American stopped taking vacations and distributed it amongst hobos they’d all have 5 million dollars. Fuck all this hippy dippy shit. This is America. Where capitalism and freedom rings. If we wanna flush all our money down the toilet so that one or two meth heads in Mississippi fall ass backwards into hundreds of millions of dollars then thats what we’re gonna do. Plus the fact that its always toothless hillbillies that win means in a way Powerball actually is helping to fight poverty. Get outta here with this garbage.