Classic Love Story Of Guy Proposes To Girl In WalMart, Girl Says Yes, Guy And Girl Get Arrested For Stealing Sex Toys From Spencer Gifts
BAY CITY, MI — Shortly after a Bay City man proposed to his girlfriend at Walmart, the pair shoplifted jewelry and sex toys, police say, leading the newly engaged couple to spend their New Year’s Eve in jail. About 6:14 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 30, Bay County sheriff’s deputies responded to the Spencer’s Gifts store inside the Bay City Mall at 4101 E. Wilder Road in Bangor Township for a shoplifting complaint involving a man and a woman. Both suspects fled the area prior to deputies’ arrival, but deputies found the woman walking between Bob Evans and Taco Bell, followed by a Spencer’s employee, court records show. Deputies later located Cornelius sleeping in the mall’s food court, apparently having fallen asleep at a table while tying his shoes, court records show. They awoke Cornelius and searched him, finding on him a watch, an edible thong, a sex toy, panties, and sex candy from Spencer’s valued at a total of $80.93, court records show.
What a fucking wild story. Just when you think it can’t elevate to another level it does. Engaged in a Wal Mart. Steal from a Spencer’s. Arrested at a Taco Bell. Fell asleep at a table tying his fucking shoes! It never stops. Just a top to bottom, awesome redneck story. In fact, it might be the perfect white trash romance. You read about all the marriages in Waffle Houses and Alabama tailgates but nothing comes close to this. This is what little girls in trailer parks sit around pinning to their dream board. You want a beautiful white dress and nuptials by the water in Newport? Little Betsy Sue wants to get married by the rifles at WalMart then arrested at Bob Evans wearing some edible panties with Ben Wa balls in her pussy.
PS – Spencer’s was the store when, as a 13 year old, you and your friends went on group dates to the mall on Friday nights. Take your girl in there, show her a boob or a dildo and be like “what do you think about this?” That’s how you got on the one way train to make out town. Spencer’s is probably 95% responsible for the first time I got my penis touched during one of the Star Wars prequels. Took her to Spencer’s first, got her all hot and bothered, then his the cinema. Romance city.