Miami Mayoral Candidate Says She Is Endorsed By Jesus Christ

(Newser) – A North Miami mayoral candidate has pretty much the endorsement to end all endorsements: Jesus Christ himself. Anna Pierre touts what she calls the “spiritual endorsement” on her campaign posters, and says she knows she’s the one because the son of God sent her three signs that he endorsed her candidacy. Unfortunately, the former ’90s Creole-language pop star wouldn’t tell Local 10 what those signs were; she wants to keep them “private.”

That’s just one of several quirky elements to the Florida race. Of the seven candidates, one got punched in the face at his campaign headquarters last week and another filed five police reports for stolen signs. Pierre, for her part, last month claimed she was being targeted by voodoo spells; NBC Miami reported that dolls stuck with pins were left outside her HQ on Easter Sunday.

Well this is kind of a kick in the nuts to Barstool Sports right? All the Stoolies coming up big, donating 15k in 24 hours for Pres’s mayoral campaign, rallying the troops, pulling together, and then in walks Anna Pierre with a Jesus H. Christ endorsement right in our face. And I know what you’re thinking, this is Miami, who cares, Pres is running in Boston, well true, but if you don’t think the press will be asking every candidate from coast to coast whether or not they have been endorsed by Jesus then you’re out of your goddamn mind. The game has officially changed. If you don’t have Jesus in your corner you might as well throw in the towel. 15k? K, how about our lord and savior, see ya!

PS
Love Anna Pierre not revealing how Jesus told her she had his official endorsement. That’s a classy broad right there. Kiss and don’t tell. Not trying to blow up Jesus’s spot, just trying to let everyone know he is in your corner.