The Boston Globe Reporters Can’t Stop Sucking Their Own Dicks For Delivering Their Own Newspaper Yesterday

Holy shit! You would have thought the reporters at the Globe cured cancer the way they were ranting and raving about how great they were for doing this. What a gigantic feat it was to deliver ONE issue of the Boston Globe. Dan Shaugnessy calling them legit heroes until he got cyber bullied and was forced to apologize. Hey assholes do you ever hear me tooting my own horn about delivering my own papers? I didn’t think so. And I didn’t do it once. I didn’t do it twice. I did it every fucking week for 7 fucking years. I wrote it, I sold it, I delivered it, I hawked it, I did EVERYTHING. I didn’t do it so people could pat me on the ass and call me a hero. I didn’t do it for the bright lights. There were no standing ovations. I didn’t brag about it. I didn’t call myself a hero. I just fucking took out my lunchbox, jumped into the Astrovan and went to work. Dropping off papers, cleaning poop out of my newsracks, fighting wild alley cats at the city dump, etc. EVERY FUCKING WEEK. WEEK IN AND WEEK OUT. Rain, snow, sleet I was out there humping it on my 48 hours paper route. Getting people their copy of the Barstool Sports fresh and hot out of the oven. So do me a favor and spare me all this self congratulatory nonsense. You want to brag about a paper route? Do it for 7 years. Until then shut up. I’ve delivered way too many papers to let somebody who delivered papers for 1 night brag about delivering papers.