I Don't Know If These Netflix Socks That Pause Your TV When You Fall Asleep Are Real But I Hope They Are

Engadget- Passing out during a Netflix session is a very real threat. Especially with the incoming holiday season and all those requisite carbs pumping in your bloodstream. So Netflix’s latest make it project attempts to solve the issue with motion sensors built into your socks. (Vaguely festive PR grab, check.) Netflix has provisioned some sock designs if you’re a truly devoted binge-watcher, and offers up all the details for the intermediate-level electronics (Arduino, accelerometers, IR LEDs) needed to make it work. Your handmade wearables might not work all the time, but at least you’ll be a little closer to find exactly which episode of Jessica Jones you unintentionally faded out from. 

I was all-in on this idea until I read the socks are DIY.  Big BIG mistake by Netflix there.  I’m not even sure if this whole sock thing is real or if it’s a publicity stunt (it’s a publicity stunt) but either make the socks and sell them yourselves or don’t bring up the idea at all. Got it?  Here’s the problem with the DIY part.  You’re asking a bunch of people who are too lazy to pause their own TVs before they fall asleep to make socks equipped with a device that pauses the TV for them.  See the problem?  If I’m too lazy to pause my own TV (which I am) there is no way in hell I’m going to knit my own socks and then place a Unabomber-like device inside them. That sounds like so much work. If I’m going to use socks that pause my TV for me then I need somebody to make them for me. Otherwise it’s not happening.  What Netflix really needs to be creating and marketing is a way to pause a TV show when a guy gets a boner or when a girl moistens. Netflix and Chill is all the rage nowadays with people actually having sex. That’s where Netflix’s energy should be focused.  Not giving us step-by-step instructions on how to make socks.

PS- Call me crazy but I wouldn’t exactly feel safe with this much electricity strapped to my cankles as I slept. Feels like a massive fire hazard