Introducing The All Time NHL Bad Boy Team
A couple weeks ago I put out the All Time Hockey Movie Bully Squad. Admittedly, there aren’t too many hockey movies to pull from so the list essentially boiled down to the bad guy in each movie. But now it’s time to get to the real deal. Now it’s time to take a trip down memory lane on this Throwback Thursday and honor all of those who have fought and bled and even almost killed a guy just in the name of hockey. So without further ado, here is your official NHL Bad Boy team.
G – Ron Hextall – Philadelphia Flyers
When you talk about the greatest hockey goalies of all time, you have your Brodeurs and your Ken Drydens and your Patrick Roys and your Terry Sawchuks. But when it comes to the goalies that would not only shut you out on the scoresheet but then would proceed to bash your face in with their fist, Ron Hextall was the king. Sexy Hexy was a goon who accidentally got a hold of some goalie pads when he was younger. But make no mistake about it, this guy was meant to throw fists in the league.
D – Scott Stevens – New Jersey Devils
This one pains me to put up because I’m almost certain that if Scott Stevens wasn’t in the same division as Eric Lindros, then Lindros would have gone down as one of the top 5 to ever play the game. Unfortunately for Big E, however, he had to go up against Scott Stevens at least 4 times a year and as you can tell from the video above… that’s pretty much a death sentence for anyone. Now listen, Stevens played the game at a different time. So while plenty of those hits would be penalized in today’s game, that wasn’t the case back then so I can’t hold it against the guy. There may never be another player in the NHL who shuts down the blueline quite as well as Scott Stevens did. I can’t imagine how terrifying that had to be for any puck carrier to even get close to Stevens’ blue line knowing wholeheartedly that they were about to get clobbered into next week. I shit my pants just thinking about it.
D – Marty McSorley – Los Angeles Kings – 3381 PIM
So obviously Marty McSorley gets on this list because of the slash to Donald Brashear’s head that ended up being the last time he ever played in an NHL game. However, McSorley was a Bad Boy long before that incident as he was tasked with being the enforcer for Wayne Gretzky during the majority of his career. When you have to be the on-ice body guard for the greatest player to ever play the game, you’ve gotta be the biggest asshole out there. You have to make sure that nobody considers even looking at Gretzky the wrong way because they’re afraid of what will happen to them. So yes, McSorley cemented his spot on this team because of the Brashear incident. But make no mistake about it, the man was a piece of shit for his entire career. And I mean that in an endearing way.
F – Tie Domi – Rangers/Maple Leafs – 3515 Career PIM
The thing that separates Tie Domi from the rest of the great enforcers of the game is that he was such a little fucking cocksucker. Again, I mean that in an endearing way. He’s this tiny little pesky son of a bitch that wasn’t the best fighter because he was the biggest guy out there like Probert, but he was a great fighter because he just bought into the bad boy life 100%. How many other guys in the league have ever been such a pest that they had a fan come into the penalty box to try to fight them? (Now granted, Philly fans are a different breed but still). Tie Domi was a bad boy through and through. He loved the game and he loved all the theatrics. The ice was his stage and he knew how to work the crowd. Such a fucking dick and I love it.
F – Terry “The Tasmanian Devil” O’Reilly – Boston Bruins
When all is said and done, this might go down as my favorite moment in hockey history. It really just doesn’t get any better than that. Olde Time Hockey. Original Six. Bruins scaling the glass at MSG to fight the fans, Terry O’Reilly leading the charge and Mike Milbury hitting some pussy Rangers fan with his own shoe. Amazing. And that’s what you would get out of a guy like Terry O’Reilly. Again, he wasn’t the biggest guy out there on the ice but he brought all of the energy. In the height of Bad Boy Hockey during the 70s and early 80s, Terry O’Reilly was one of the baddest there was. Fights on fights on fights on fights.
F – Dave “The Hammer” Schultz – Philadelphia Flyers
Am I a little biased here in putting two Flyers on the first team All Bad Boy squad? Absolutely not. Because the Broad Street Bullies were one of the most feared teams in hockey history and Dave Schultz was the one leading the way in terms of being the biggest bad ass out on the ice. Hell, this team played against the Soviets and forced them to leave the ice before the game was over. That’s how fucking brutal these guys were. That’s how mean and viscous they were. They took the best team in the world at that time and stuffed those commie bastards in a locker. Hell, Dave Schultz is in the Flyers Hall of Fame. And for what? For being such a savage.
2nd Team:
Bob Probert
You could very easily make the argument that Probert deserves first team recognition. One of the best fighters the game has ever seen, 3300 career penalty minutes, and is just one of those urban legend type of players.
Dave “Tiger” Williams
He is the NHL’s all time leader in career penalty minutes with 3966 in less than 1000 games played. He was a menace to society and I can’t think of one person that fits those atrocious Canucks jerseys better. Dave Williams has earned his spot on this list.
Eddie Shore
“Eddie Shore. Olde Time Hockey”. One of the most memorable lines in hockey movie history. Plus, the guy almost killed Ace Bailey during a fight with his stick. Eddie Shore is the original bad boy of hockey and he painted the pathway for pretty much everyone else you love to hate who has ever come after him.
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Dale Hunter
The video speaks for itself.
And finally… everybody loses in a fight with Gordie Howe. Everybody.
UPDATE: Listen, I don’t claim to be perfect. I’m merely a smut blogger who likes to watch guys beat the fuck out of each other. So obviously there are going to be a few oversights on my parts so I’ll do my best to give guys the recognition they deserve now. Starting with Rob Ray.
Wendel Clark, too. I’m pretty sure Chief will Marty McSorley me if I don’t throw Wendel Clark on this list.