Surviving Barstool | Ep. 3 Premieres Wednesday (11/29) at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 2 NOW

State Representative From Cedar Falls Running For Congress Plans To Tour Pizza Ranches, Might Be The Next President



Des Moines Register -Walt Rogers is hitting the Pizza Ranch circuit in his bid for Congress.Rogers, a Republican state representative from Cedar Falls, is running for Iowa’s 1st District seat in the U.S. House. Starting Friday, he’ll tour all 20 of the district’s northeast-Iowa counties, hitting mostly diners and Pizza Ranches, the chain of buffet spots popular among presidential candidates during the campaign for Iowa’s first-in-the-nation caucuses.The tour will play out over several Fridays to accommodate Rogers’ Monday-through-Thursday responsibilities in the Legislature. 

This Walt Rogers fella gets it.  Plain and simple.  You want to win an election in Iowa?  You host your campaign spots at a restaurant that all Iowans love.  Pure genius.  Pizza Ranch is big around here.  Makes sense since it was started in Iowa.  Ask any Iowan if they’ve been to a Pizza Ranch and they’ll rattle off endless stories of eating so much they puked like a retired pro athlete rattles off stories of past glory.  It’s marketed as a pizza buffet but it’s so much more than that.  I’d live at a Pizza Ranch if that was socially acceptable.  They have every type of pizza you could dream of, fried chicken desserts, fountain pops.  Everything.  There’s one right by house.  It’s the best.  I don’t know anything about this guy’s politics and I don’t need to.  Any politician that is savvy enough to wholly understand his constituency and what they like is a superstar in the making.  Keep your eye on Walt Rogers.  He’ll be running the world before you know it.

Back when I was a superstar linebacker as a senior at Kennedy High School in Cedar Rapids our team had a sponsorship with Pizza Ranch.  If you won player of the week then you got a coupon to eat there for free.  Telling high school Trent that he could eat for free at Pizza Ranch if he played well was like telling Lawrence Taylor he’d get free cocaine for the rest of his life if he played well.  It was the ultimate motivation.  Needless to say I ate a shit ton of Pizza Ranch that season.  I never played better football in my life.  Just fucking people up like the Remember The Titans montage after Coach Yost gives the blitz all night speech.  Not to mention they put your picture up at the restaurant.  I don’t know much about life but I know there’s no better groupies than Pizza Ranch groupies.