This shit right here is why stereotypes are needed. Maybe they’re not perfect and maybe sometimes people unfairly get put in a box, but they’re generally spot on. Almost every single state’s most used word in dating profiles is exactly what you’d expect it to be. Some of my favorites…
Massachusetts and Rhode Island – Ocean – This is really the only acceptable answer. If you don’t have ocean in your dating profile then get the hell away from me, fat girl. If I’m not within an hour drive of the ocean then I want to kill myself. I don’t care if you like swimming in the ocean, taking long walks by the ocean, drinking beers and looking at the ocean, whatever. If there’s no ocean then there’s no me.
Texas and Oklahoma – Oil – I don’t even know what “oil” means? Everyone on dating sites down there has oil money? Then what the fuck are you doing on a dating website?
Florida – Disney – You know how they have “code” words in selling? Things like “has character” means old and shitty? Well, “Disney” is the ultimate code word. “I like going to Disney” is a disguised way of saying “I’m fat, disgusting, poor, and have multiple disgusting and horribly done tattoos.”
Nevada – Casino – “I’m tired of losing money on nothing. Looking for a prostitute to meet me at the casino.”
Seattle, Washington, Idaho – Kayaking and hikes – Perfectly Pacific Northwest. My likes are appreciating the earth and doing anything I can to enjoy it without harming anything or anyone. My dislikes are carbon footprints and corporations. Fuck off, 12s. You guys are lame as shit.
PS – Who knew Idaho was way out there? Not me. Because I’m an idiot.
Connecticut – Casino – This one is different than a Vegas casino. It’s pretty much a surgeon general’s warning saying do not date this person unless you’re willing to live in poverty. To be honest, pretty sure the only Connecticut person who puts “casino” in their dating profile is an overweight, old lady with a breathing tube.
Alabama – Lookin – Not even “looking,” just lookin’. You have eyes? Then we’re a perfect match. Bonus points if we share DNA.
These places – Farm – If you like being bored and tired after slaughtering animals then head yonder. It’s like a whole region of FarmersOnly subscribers.
Delaware (I think) – Gospel – Wanna not fuck or do anything fun? I’m your man.
Missouri – Zoo – A trash hobby for a trash state. If you’re over the age of eight and enjoy the zoo you might be crazier than those fat rednecks who love Disney. It smells like shit and all the animals are incredibly sad. The only way you enjoy that is if you’re to naive to notice. In fact, lock up anyone with “zoo” in their profile, they’re looking for children.