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Dudes Paying For An Online Mistress To Make Fun Of Their Small Dicks On Twitter Is A Baffling Industry

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TheLadBible – Thousands of men are getting involved with #SPH or ‘Small Penis Humiliation’ on social media – and some are even paying for the privilege.

Basically, women will humiliate men online and in return they receive cash or gifts.

The Daily Star spoke to a sex expert – Dr Pam Spurr – and asked her to shed some light on the bizarre fetish.

“Sometimes it’s a defence mechanism. If they allow others to ridicule them, in a sense they keep control of the situation. Or it can be a genuine desire to be made to feel bad, humiliated, and less-than-a-man. Because this reflects the actual truth – they feel less-than-a-man. A sense of insecurity can grow quite quickly when a man realises he’s not endowed as other men are.”


They say that porn is the big test for any technology product because it’s what usually ends up making money first on new media (see: VHS tapes, the Internet) and it looks like good news for Pres’s Twitter stock because these chicks must be making bank with this. I’ve mentioned it in the Tinder blog several times my theory that a hooker will one day be a billionaire from app-based banging but it’s true everywhere; if you’re out there doing whorish things for money and you’re not embracing social media and all the various ways you can get guys hoping to drop a load to pay you, you’re not as savvy a business woman as I expect my vagina slingers. I mean check out how little effort must be required here for some big financial #gainz (warning: This gets NSFWish):


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All she had to do was get Snapchatted a pic of some dude’s dick, screengrab it, and present it publicly. She didn’t have to pay for that sad deflated and unfulfilled cock sock or even come up with some witty caption about it. Hashtags and an “Lol” and she probably got Snapcashed $20 bucks for that, minimum.




Okay I’m going to say she earned it on this one with the emojis in particular as a nice touch but I feel like I also deserve $20 here because that sad cartoon turtle looks EXACTLY like this dude’s depressing toilet dick. I get the point of it all is it has to be a hot chick doing it but come on man I can make fun of dicks too, pay me.




This guy’s dick definitely looked like a scared gopher here but sadly it was difficult to find a good one on Google Images so a much-bigger-than-needed dramatic chipmunk has to suffice. #clitdick life is hard on everyone, except for Gemma who seems to really be relishing this one. Didn’t even have to get into character here I bet.


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I’m going to spare you from even blurring this one because it’s still pretty horrifying but I have to say you’re certainly getting what you pay for here. If you’re a big dominatrix guy I can’t imagine how this would compare to some chick spitting in your face and calling your dick pathetic in person but, still, as far as relatively affordable personalized S&M social media goes, this seems like a great value. And is there any greater shame than having your miniscule dick mocked on social media but also having it go viral too? So much free shame coming this guy’s way, big time Black Friday deal. Overall I have to say I came in skeptical of the value proposition here and am leaving suitably impressed (although concerned this dude may be able to jerk it to this blog). Good job by Gemma, bad job by this dude’s dick.