Thanksgiving Live Blog At The Smitty Household 3.0
Our family wasn't meeting for dinner until after the game and, no joke, legitimate chance we may just cancel Thanksgiving. Thanks, @Eagles.
— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) November 26, 2015Everyone?s family is eccentric and strange in their own way. The Smitty household is no different. Just a sterotypical drunken, opinioated mess with no boundaries or shame. And when the Eagles lose, the misery is palpable. Go family.
Hot Start: Walk in and my drunk uncle pours me a shot saying he'd whip my pussy ass if we played each other in high school football.
— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) November 26, 2015Pops - "Tim Tebow wasnt cut, he left this team because he is against abortions."
— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) November 26, 2015Right on holiday cue: Mom asks who is saying grace, Pops instantly fires off "Grace? She died 30 years ago!" The man never misses his mark.
— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) November 26, 2015Cousin's new wife finds out I did stand up and the entire room goes dead silent waiting for a joke. Dance, monkey. Dance.
— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) November 26, 2015Aunt - "I don't like the dark meat." Drunk Uncle - Your scouting report before I met you said differently."
— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) November 26, 2015Vegan cousin wearing headphones had the millennial balls to ask for a Tofu Turkey for Xmas. He'll be exiled from this family before then.
— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) November 27, 2015Grandmother innocently dropped her drink at the beginning of the night, drunk uncle has been beyond chirping at "Miles Austin" ever since.
— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) November 27, 2015"I've had 4 courses tonight and that's still 4 more than Dez Bryant took in college." - Pops, with a recycled joke he no way made up himself
— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) November 27, 2015And Thanksgiving comes to an end with the drunk uncle putting out his cig on the carpet. When accosted by the aunt he replied, "Fire Chip".
— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) November 27, 2015