Frankly I Cannot Believe That Ohio Voted No On Marijuana Legalization

Well, I’m stumped. How on earth did the people of Ohio decide that the legalization of marijuana wasn’t the right move for them? Think it maybe had something to do with the pro-weed guy? Listen, I know Michael Keller said that he’s a vet so I hope he moves to a state where he can get his drugs and help himself get healthy. But maybe don’t be the face of the cause? I mean that was a disaster, my man. You looked and sounded like a college stoner at his Tuesday 8 AM. Ratty tshirt, outrageously sized cargos, tattoos everywhere, fucking white gas station sunglasses. Were you on your way to a “Say nope to dope” commercial casting call and decided to pop in for a quick debate? My lord, Mike, you couldn’t even put together a full train of thought. You want to make marijuana legal? Quit spouting that hippie bullshit about peace and love, don’t mention how you just fucking learned that drinking a ton of beer and smoking cigarettes is bad for you, and don’t dress like a snowboarder who’s about to forfeit his gold medal for failing his drug tests. Get it together, bro. Nick Lachey’s fortune depended on you.

PS – Katie, whatever you want me to vote I’ll vote.

Update: Just learned this guy is a lawyer. Did he fake sick every mock trial day in law school?