Derek Jeter Got Engaged And A Dog And I feel Like I'm Taking Crazy Pills

Players Tribune- After I retired, I didn’t expect I’d go from one job right to another. Meet Kane.

I had no idea what I was in for as a new dog owner. He was a Christmas gift last year from my fiancée, whose family had Mastiffs growing up. I’ve never owned a pet in my life.

Don’t be fooled by his eyes. In his first few weeks home, Kane would look up at me with this suspicious face, like he was trying to say, “Why should I listen to you?”

You know when you get a girlfriend, or engaged and you tell everyone “Nah shes cool, nothing is gonna change. I’ll still do whatever I want.”? You kind of believe it, but at the same time you know the party is over ,and you’ll be spending a lot more time at baby birthday parties, than with babes at birthday parties. Well I’ve been doing that in my head for Derek, since the news of this engagement broke.

Yeah they’ve been together for 3 years, but you couldn’t really count Jeter out until he took a knee. Even then, I wasn’t sure it was true, until I saw pictures of her wearing a ring this morning. But now he’s writing “fiancee” on his website and it just feels like down is up and up is down. I’ve heard of girls bringing over some clothes, or a toothbrush, to mark their territory but never a full dog. She pulled a Constanza, with a living breathing animal.

The whole thing is weird and uncomfortable and now I have to figure out where I get an Italian Mastiff, so I can not be totally into it, the same way Derek clearly isn’t all that into this dog.

PS: The post on the Players Tribune feels like when Dave posts one of his “Can You Believe Hank Got Me The Wrong Sandwich?” blogs. It has nothing to do with why we all come here, but we’re still so interested.