Gawker - A video-calling service for the deaf is suing a Brooklyn man for abusing the company’s software, the New York Post reports. David Marcano allegedly made 4,646 calls using the Florida-based service, ZVRS, solely for the purpose of masturbating in front of its employees. Here is how the service works, according to the Post: via video chat, a deaf person calls one of ZVRS’s sign-language interpreters, who then acts as an operator, placing a call to a third party and translating on the deaf person’s behalf. But Marcano, 51, isn’t deaf. Since January 1st, he has made over 4,000 calls “for the sole purpose of masturbating in view of ZVRS’s employees,” ZVRS says in a suit seeking unspecified damages. “In every call made through ZVRS’s software platform, Marcano appears on the video call for the purpose of exposing his genitals or masturbating to ZVRS’s female staff,” according to the suit. Marcano has called from at least eight different numbers—as recently as September 21st, ZVRS claims—in response to the company shutting down his accounts. The suit alleges that Marcano has cost the company productivity and business and caused its employees emotional distress. ZVRS is also accusing Marcano of fraud for signing up for software he doesn’t need.
You know what the best part of this story is? Its not that this dude is Chat-Rouletting it and whipping his dick out thousands of times. Its not that its sign language interpreters – who are some of the weirdest people on earth – who are being exploited. Thats all hilarious shit. But its the company suing because he’s costing the company productivity. Like “Your honor! We simply can’t effectively video chat with The Deafs with this dick bandit on the loose!” Every time you sit down to help connect a disabled person to the hearing world, BAM, dick and balls in your face. How am I supposed to CHIP with that going on, Doug? Poor ZVRS’s quarterly earnings at an all time Deaf Person Video Chat low because they can’t get do their jobs with this guy masturbating in their faces thousands of times.
Also, apparently facebook unfriending is now considered workplace bullying, we got the Florida woman who tried to hire a hitman to kill a dude giving her grandkids lice, Rob Ford hosting a public bachelor party, and Mexico invents their own ice bucket challenge where they all challenge each other to do coke. Plug in juice up.