PA Congressman Ganks The Pope's Drinking Water And Gives It To His Wife Sporting An Eagles Outfit

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TMZ – The Pope raised an interesting question in D.C. … can tap water become holy just because he drinks out of it? Congressman Bob Brady clearly has an answer, because he pilfered the Pontiff’s glass. After the Pope addressed a joint session of Congress — quenching his thirst with a glass at the ready — Congressman Brady made a beeline for the podium and flat out stole the glass. Brady gingerly took the glass out of House Chambers and he and his wife took swigs soon thereafter. He’s unapologetic, and plans to put the glassware in his curio cabinet at his home.

Well this is…something. This isn’t the same water Indiana Jones got in the Last Crusade from the Holy Grail, but it’s something. Props on the wife for supporting the team anyway possible. Even though no amount of Holy Backwash is going to help this team turn it around, we’ll take whatever we can get. If there is a God we’ll be talking about Francis maybe staying an extra day so Chip Kelly can bless the Pope.

PS – Freaking religious people, man. I bet if Francis left his jizz-rag hanging around someone would scoop it up and make a shrine for The Holy Cum-Cloth. KFC would probably bathe with it. The Pope eats, breathes, and shits just like every other human on Earth. For relevance, we as always turn to Bill Burr: