If you live in Philly, DC or NYC and you haven’t parlayed this Pope visit into a couple days off or at the very least, some Work From Home sessions, you are absolutely lost in the corporate world. The Pope isnt even in Manhattan yet and we got people shutting it down for the weekend. People taking days off, working from home, scheduling golf outings, whatever it is. Do you know how absurd it is to say you cant get to work in Manhattan because there’s gonna be traffic?? Theres always fucking traffic! And nobody drives! There are people who live and work in sections of this city that will probably be completely unaffected by this visit and people are like “Nah. Cant do it. Pope.” Its a beautiful thing really. People will look for ANY excuse. From lowly cube monkeys to the guys in the corner office, its like everyone has just agreed that the Pope being in the same city as them means no work can be accomplished. Its the most Holy of Mailtimes.
I remember when I was working in the World Financial Center everyone used to work from home on 9/11. And thats because the managers who had been there for many years witnessed how chaotic and hectic the anniversary ceremonies were. You couldnt make it to the building because of all the security and shit. But that was like in the early years. By the time I got there it was 2007. It really wasnt that bad but everyone just agreed that day was a work from home day. 2008, 2009, 2010. Absolutely no problem getting to work. I remember looking around like are we just turning 9/11 into a holiday? What the fuck is going on here? But that shit was just agreed upon. WFH motherfuckers!
We also got nobody caring about the Muslim Stampede, PETA wants a monkey to have copyright control over his picture, dude blames his evil twin for robbing gas stations, Ohio man bites off his wife’s lover’s ear, more Pablo Escobar stats about how much money he made, Matthew McConaughey’s brother (ROOSTER) named his own son Miller Lyte for a free year worth of beer. Plug in juice up.