This Poor Armadillo REALLY Wants To Have Sex With This Human Woman's Leg


We’ve all been there, when you’re all worked up and your dick unravels itself and whips at the girl you’re trying to hook up with:




Clearly that’s the armadillo equivalent of “Lying in bed with a throbbing erection and jabbing it into your girl’s side in the hopes she thinks lowly enough of herself to count that as foreplay.” But I’ll be honest, this clip is hilarious because of the ladies’ excited reaction to this armadillo trying to Netflix and chill but it’s more hilarious because of how ridiculous an armadillo dick is. I had no idea armadillo dicks were this funny to look at. Apparently they’ve very bendy and are defined by something called “flexural stiffness” that allows it to whack into things like a dog’s tail when she’s too excited and walking near your coffee table.


As a fellow mammal, I’m not sure if having a dick like that would make life better or worse. On the one hand it would be kind of fun to swing it around without having to gyrate like a male stripper and I’m sure you could do some G spot damage with that wacky inflatable arm waving armadillo dick that normal human men could only currently dream of. On the other hand, jerking off is at its best when you’ve got a good piston-like stroke going. If your dick starts wagging around like one of those wacky bounce balls while you’re trying to jack it that’d be weird and inefficient. And then if you get off and your dick coils around your hand like a slapband bracelet, that’d definitely be a bit uncomfortable and not an improvement in the process. In summation, I probably won’t trade my dick for an armadillo’s but I’m glad to have learned about it.