This weekend was the annual Brooklyn Bridge Kite Festival. Buncha assholes from Brooklyn get together and all fly their kites. When you take a step back and look at it, is flying a kite not the stupidest, most pointless, least entertaining thing a person can do? Imagine if aliens came down from earth and saw people flying kites. And they were like “Yo earthling what is this all about? What are you doing?” And you were just like “Ah well I have this plastic wing-sail thingy in the air and its attached to this string. And I just hold it here while it blows around in the wind.” And thats it. Thats your whole explanation. No end game. No reason. No reward. Just like hold this string and then eventually later I guess you just let it fall back to the ground and you pack it up and go home. If aliens ever saw that they would immediately be like “Alright Mothership, get the giant Green Laser Beam ready…this planet is full of retards.” I dont think I’ve ever flown a kite once. Maybe like a single time when I was about 9 and then I was old enough and smart enough to be like “this fucking sucks there are way better ways to spend your life”
Today we also a chick who jumped out of moving car because of a spider, woman with burned vagina gets a $50 coupon, the 5,000 pound baseball losers, and Indian teens have to get married if they break curfew. Plug in juice up.