Start Your Monday With A Heartwarming Story Of The British Prime Minister Allegedly Sticking His Dick Inside A Dead Pig's Mouth

Screen Shot 2015-09-21 at 8.04.35 AM


(Source) DAVID Cameron once put a “private part of his anatomy” into a dead pig’s mouth during a bizarre initiation ritual, it has been claimed. The Prime Minister carried out the act as a student a Oxford University, according to a claim made in a new biography. The story was recounted to the authors by a contemporary of Mr Cameron who went on to become an MP. He reportedly said the pig’s head was resting on the lap of a member of the Piers Gaveston Society – a dining club at Oxford – while Cameron carried out the act. He even claimed another member of the group has photographic evidence of the alleged act. But the individual who is said to own the picture did not respond to approaches by the authors.


The shocking allegation features in Call Me Dave, a biography of Mr Cameron co-written by Tory peer Lord Ashcroft and the journalist Isabel Oakeshott. Mr Ashcroft said: “Perhaps it is a case of mistaken identity. Yet it is an elaborate story for an otherwise credible figure to invent. “Furthermore, there are a number of accounts of pigs’ heads at debauched parties in Cameron’s day.” Lord Ashcroft has revealed his bitter rivalry with Mr Cameron was sparked after he was overlooked by a Cabinet position. He donated more than £8million to the Conservative Party, helping them secure two election victories. But Mr Cameron only offered him a junior whip position in the Foreign Office, which was subsequently turned down.Today the Prime Minister’s spokeswoman said: “I’m not going to dignify this book by offering a comment. The author has set out his reasons for writing this book. “The Prime Minister is focused on getting on with the job of running the country.” The alleged act echoes the first episode of the drama series Black Mirror, in which the fictional Prime Minister has sex with a pig live on TV.
We have a lot of NFL to get to and we will do that in a second but I thought this was one of those nice perspective stories. Chances are unless you’re a Packers or Patriots fan your NFL team sucks. If you’re a Bears fan like me your team sucks even more than suck. Chances are you drank too much and ate a ton of crap all weekend long and the thought of a fall/winter with a sucky football team has you down. Well fear not folks, because on the other side of the pond you have the British Prime Minister being accused of fucking a dead pig head with his penis. Probably spent the last 30 years of his life convincing himself that he didn’t fuck that pig head, or saying to himself over and over “yeah no one saw me get my dick sucked by a dead animal’s head, I bet everyone was so drunk anyway”, only to wake up one morning and bam, right there in a book and on the front page of the newspaper. So welcome to Monday, it sucks, but at least you didn’t get caught allegedly fucking a pig head, so you have that going for you, which is nice.
By the way, I don’t want to defend a guy who allegedly fucks dead animals but here we go. This happened in College, it should be illegal to put College stories into books like this. I’m not saying you should fuck a dead animal, but if you do it in college it shouldn’t be put in a book 30 years later. Some things need to die over time, like that dead pig that had a penis in it’s mouth. It’s not hard.
Also really sucks that there are pictures of him with pigs readily available. People, myself included, are dumb, so if you show me a picture of an alleged pig fucker petting a pig that “alleged” gets erased in my mind pretty quickly. Facts are facts.
Screen Shot 2015-09-21 at 8.04.47 AM
h/t mike