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Old Man Fireworks Director For The Indians Lets The Sparks Fly After Royals Home Run And He Couldn't Be More Ashamed

You had ONE job, old man. One loud noise wakes him up a the nap and BOOM! There’s an expensive light show celebrating the road team’s dinger. See, this is what happens when you put anyone over the age of 60 in charge of anything to do with technology. My old Aunt tries to fire up one of my specific “columns” on her desktop from CompUSA and 45 minutes later she’s still verbally Asking Jeeves to show her the “Barstool”. I can’t imagine putting her in charge of an iPad that sets off dangerous pyrotechnics for thousands of people. It’s like giving a chimp the nuclear launch codes. There’s a good chance he won’t know how to figure that shit out, but there’s always a slim shot somebody’s face is going to melt.

I think every time you push the button for the fountains at The Belligio it’s like $15K a pop. That was maybe a couple grand worth of fireworks that coot just blasted for the Royals? The only reason why he gets away with it is because he’s a cute elderly chap. It helps when it looks like he should be dog shamed after, but he’s old and confused. This man can get away with whatever he wants outside of blatant theft.