Breaking: Mark Teixeira (Is Out For The Season)

Nothing like getting ready to wrap up the week and focus on drinking beers and beating Canadians (I think they’re mostly Dominican) then having your dick kicked directly in. As you can see, Mark Teixeira is out for the year with a fracture in his leg and if we’re all being honest with ourselves, we saw this coming.

Teixeira is having a great year, and it really was astonishing that he had been able to stay so healthy and productive after so many injured seasons, but we all knew it couldn’t last. We celebrated every home run, and every web gem loud and with pride, but in dark corners of bars in hushed tones we all whispered “it will never last”, and it didn’t.

I’m not going to pile on the guy because there is nothing he can do about about a fracture but come on man, drink some milk and toughen up them bones. I don’t know the relationship between bone density and gluten but I’m going to gluten the fuck up this weekend so I never go the way of Tex. If I go down, its by clogged arteries like and American not some brittle bone bullshit.

With all of that being said, it’s Greg Bird time. He hasn’t lit the world on fire, but he has had some clutch hits and this is going to be a trial by fire to see if he can deliver in clutch situatons. He will get a day off here and there like and other player, but no big help is coming to back him up.

Blah, blah, blah, pets heads falling off.