Mario Lemieux and the owners of the Pittsburgh Penguins are currently open to selling the team, which makes total sense because owning the Pittsburgh Penguins has to bring the same level of satisfaction as owning the herpes virus. They’re seeking $750 million which is absolutely preposterous because I can’t even see those losers getting $500 million in a seller’s market but whatever. Anyway, the Philadelphia Flyers own the Pittsburgh Penguins on the ice and haven’t lost to those clowns since the 2013-14 season. So now that the team is up for sale, why not own the Pittsburgh Penguins off the ice as well?
GoFundMe Page Here – Please help us purchase the worst franchise in the NHL so we can try to make it better by doing things like:
- Painting the entire inside of the arena Orange and Black
- Putting a giant photo of Claude Giroux on the outside of the building, facing the highway
- Repainting the parking lots stripes orange, with a Flyers logo in each spot
- Using colored thread to impose a beach ball in the net behind Fleury
- Make a wall of fame in the concourse with photos of our top donators
You can find us at http:// www.orangeandblackpack.com or on Facebook and Twitter. In the very likely event we do not raise the money required to purchase the Penguins franchise, 100% of the money we have raised will be donated to Flyers Wives charities. Information on who Flyers Wives charities supports can be found here
Now as I’m writing this, the page has $1,464 dollars. Pretty far away from $750 million but if Kevin Garnett has taught us anything in this life, it’s that anything is possiboh. So after a quick little Google search, I’ve found that there’s roughly 1.5 million people in Philadelphia. Divide 750 million by 1.5 million, carry the 3, and it looks like if every person in the city donated $500 to the cause, Flyers fans could actually own the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Even our French guys kick the shit out of the Penguins.
First order of business after purchasing the Pittsburgh Penguins will be to rescue Nick Bonino’s puppy. This constitutes as animal abuse in my opinion.
Now cue all the butthurt Penguins fans coming in with their “1975” comments as if they are the first person to ever say that.
By the way, all the money going to the Flyers Wives charities is a real solid move so again, Donate Here.