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Remember When I Tried To Find Love On GlutenFreeSingles.com? Yeah, Well, The Lady Has Tracked Down Smitty

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So here’s the full blog from awhile back reposted because why not:

It all started with a question on Twitter asking who in their right mind would seek out a Gluten Free cheesesteak? Then it led to the discovery of the Gluten Free Singles dating website which I was determined to infiltrate from the inside out and expose the batshittidy that is the Gluten Free craze. Who would’ve thought it would conclude in love? Not I, my friends. Not I.

BROAD #1: THE UK MINX

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No response after that. Guess she didn’t want to make music. Tis a shame.

BROAD #2: WE’VE GOT A LIVE ONE!

(Because I have a conscience and this person actually seems not only real but pretty damn cool, her info has been blocked. Deal with it.)

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A little background on this subject, she reached out to me first because she read my profile that consisted of this and thought it was cute:

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Seriously. And we’re off!

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And then she vanished into the night never to speak to me again. Thought we had a winner to take home to Mom, then clog the toilet. Pardon me while I go cry in the shower.

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So that was then, and this was last night. Needless to say, I was RATTLED. Here’s the full transcription, texts and all, of the possible love of my life re-entering the game,

She found out about the blog shortly after it was posted and called me out on everything. She was actually a funny girl and we were supposed to go out or something, but twas not meant to be…until she texted me after these Tweets and I turned on Captain Charm.

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And that was that. Another love faded into the sunset just like the rest. Now excuse me, I have to get on my knees and PRAY that nobody from FreeBlackDates.com tracks me down.

PS – Me scuzi?

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Take in the rest of the Smitty’s Saga For True Love blogs below. Enjoy the loneliness.

FreeBlackDates.com

What’s the next dating site to conquer?

Which one of these convicts am I gonna make my wife?

Purrsonals.com (Part I)

Purrsonals.com (Part II)