Roger Goodell Is Running Scared And Has Decided To Not Show Up To NFL Opening Night

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Can you be a bigger pussy? Really, can you? Goodell was planning to attend NFL Opening Night right up until he lost his sham case to the NFLPA? This is the first one he’s ever missed in his entire tenure as commissioner. Cowwwwwarrrrddddddddd. Roger Goodell is the bully on the playground who pushes everyone around then when someone stands up and punches him in the nose, he runs to the teacher then spends the rest of recess crying and sucking his thumb. Show up, Roger. Let the Boos so obscene that they make a Gary Bettman Cup presentation sound like a standing ovation rain down on you. Bask in it. Simply incredible that he’s denying us our moment of glory just because he’s too stupid to carry out a legal investigation and arbitration.



Please come, Rog. Pleeeeeaaaaaasseeeeee. We’ll string ya up right next to the banner that says “2014 Super Bowl Champions.”