Maryland Guy Who Made a Daring Attempt at Stealing a Wagon Full of Girl Scout Cookies Is Chased Down By Two Overachieving Girl Scouts

Smoking Gun - In a brazen daylight cookiejacking attempt, a Maryland man and his underage accomplice tried to steal a “wagon full of Girl Scout Cookies” from two little girls, cops allege. According to Anne Arundel police, the Girl Scouts (aged 12 and 13) were selling the cookies Saturday afternoon from a street corner when they briefly stepped away from their wagon. That is when Gabriel Taylor Smith, 18, allegedly took off down the street towards a getaway car. One of the girls then gave chase and “grabbed the wagon that contained the cookies.” Smith, cops reported, then “let go of the wagon and then jumped into the suspect vehicle being driven” by his 17-year-old cohort, whose name was not released by police. “The girls yelled out that the suspect was taking their cookies,” and neighbors responded by getting in their vehicle and following the getaway car (while simultaneously calling 911). The car was subsequently located at a gas station in Odenton, the community where the two suspects reside. The Girl Scouts later fingered Smith (seen above) and his associate in the attempted cookie heist. Both were charged with misdemeanor theft since the cookies were valued at less than $1000.

Oceans 11 pretty much just spoiled. These guys had it all planned out. Pretty complex crime if you ask me. Step 1) see 12 year old girls selling cookies. Step 2) Steal cookies. Step 3) Get in car and drive away with cookies. Walt Jr. could have gotten away with this crime. He’d be eating cookies for breakfast for the next 3 years. But the idiot who tried it literally got run down by 12 and 13 year old girls. That’s pathetic. You can’t go for the vault of Thin Mints and come out short. The price is too high. The consequences are too dire. Getting caught here and leaving themselves cookie-less for the holiday season will haunt them for the rest of their lives.

PS: Not going to rank them become there are all sorts of new flavors that I’ve never tried, but Thin Mints are the gold standard when it comes to Girl Scout cookies. Can take or leave the rest, but pop those sumbitches in the freezer and try and tell me you don’t get a semi.