Everything About Hurricane Milton Sounds Absolutely Terrifying

Joe Raedle. Getty Images.

Little bit of a serious blog as Western Florida awaits the arrival of Hurricane Milton. From all accounts what this storm is about to bring will be historic. It's the fastest hurricane to intensify from a tropical storm to a category 5 in the history of the Atlantic Ocean. It's genuinely terrifying to hear what is to come. 

Anytime you have meteorologists saying, "this hurricane is nearing the mathematical limit of what Earth's atmosphere over this ocean water can produce," you stop what you're doing and pay attention. I don't even understand what that fully means but it sounds horrible. 

Let's talk storm surge. If you're in the brunt of this thing, get the hell out of there. Do not fuck around with this shit.

Just to give you an idea of what that's going to look like. 

While some bands of the storm passed over Cancun the lightning show was something else. 

This footage from a ship in the Gulf of Mexico looks like something out of a movie. 

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The mayor of Tampa went on CNN and said if you stay behind you're going to die. 

I really hope this thing gets way weaker before landfall tonight, but it sure doesn't look that way. It'll either be a Category 3 or 4 by the time it hits Florida tonight and that is not good. If you're still in the path of the storm please get the fuck out of there. I feel for everyone who has been impacted by this, especially those who literally just dealt with Helene. Some already have nothing after that storm. People don't know where to go. I cannot imagine the helplessness they're feeling. 

Apparently the storm is expected to reach landfall a little further south now which means it will arrive sooner, with less time to weaken. If you're reading this blog and haven't gotten out of town, stop being a hero and dip. Unless you're Lieutenant Dan. Boats float, he ain't leaving. 

P.S. You like turbulence? Boy do I have the job for you. 

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P.P.S. Whatever monster left their dog tied up to a pole should receive life in prison. Death penalty would be letting them off too quickly. I want them to rot.