International Study Confirms American Skeet Is Elite Thanks To Vincent Hancock

Charles McQuillan. Getty Images.

To all skeet skeet mother fuckers, all skeet skeet God damn! I have two words for you: Vincent Hancock. Not only did he just enter the conversation of the greatest American Olympians of all time, but he might also be one of the greatest Olympians of all time, period. Hancock just became the 6th Olympian EVER (Olympics confirmed very old) to get their FOURTH gold medal in the same event joining names like Carl Lewis and Michael Phelps (ever heard of them?). 

Now, the readers may be thinking to themselves, “4th gold, the American skeet run of dominance is over.”, but HOLD THE PHONE, COTTON. Not only do I believe that Hancock has enough gas left in the tank to make a run at history on his home turf in 2028, but guess who took home the silver this year? Conner Lynn Prince from THE United States of America. Before you Google, “Who is Conner Lynn Prince?”, don’t worry, I did that for you. He is the Karate Kid to Hancock’s Mr. Miyagi. The next in line to rule the dynastic reign Hancock has held on global skeet for the better part of the 21st century. As the global community clamors for a solution to American skeet supremacy, Hancock plans on wreaking havoc on the sport through his now 12 and 13-year-old daughters who are already at the range weekly preparing to carry on the Hancock skeet legacy. 

Apologies to the rest of the world, American skeet is here to stay.