A Comprehensive Ranking Of The New Food At Lincoln Financial Field

Editor’s Note: an Intern Brosh slave production

So, The Eagles and their partners at Aramark rolled out their new additions to the menu for Sundays this year. Lets do what we do best and rank em’.

6 (above). Come on now. This is literally the Tony Luke’s special without the Tony Luke’s name. This makes me think that there’s a chance this sandwich isn’t too bad. The Italian long hots are an addition to this bad boy that I can 100% get behind.

5. This is Aramark presenting the question, “how can we make this like a cheesesteak without making it a cheesesteak” and turning the ideas into a sandwich. “Cheese fondue and caramelized onions” is the fancy $15 dollar way of saying, “Wiz Wit”. However, I would be lying if I said my food boner didn’t swell when I read, “Cheese fondue”.

4. Is this exciting? Hell no. Is this probably delicious? Hell yeah. I went to the Eagle’s game this past Sunday and walked by the pizza station; it’s no joke. If there’s one thing Aramark is doing well, these cool pizzas are it. However, a veggie pizza is boring and that’s why it finds itself in the 4th spot.

3. Here is the classic American meal and I’m about it. It’s a burger with lettuce and tomato. You cannot go wrong and if you’re smart you make a plan. You go get the two burgers, send your buddy in line for a bucket of crab fries, and then you put the crab fries on the burgers. Then, top it off with the god-like greatness that is the Chickie’s and Pete’s cheese sauce. Thank me later. 2. I don’t know what this is, but I’m 100% more inclined to eat something that involves, “Sunday gravy” instead of just, “tomato sauce.”

That is exactly why this is sitting contently at number 2. Well, that, and the fact those meatballs look like the size of my fucking head. That shit is going to be perfect on a chilly October Sunday at the Linc.

1. Cool Ranch Doritos. That’s all you need to know. I am convinced that if someone tops a pile of shit with Cool Ranch Doritos, anyone will eat it. However, when you top off mac and cheese that can be mixed with chipotle sauce and then possibly BBQ chicken or BBQ pulled pork, I am all about it. It’s truly perfection. It will be served in a bowl so you wont get it everywhere, while trying to eat it. The carbs will be the true winner when they help sober you up for the drive home. Boom. Absolute perfection, baby.

PS- The best sandwich is the Paesano’s roast pork sandwich. Just worth every penny and every smelly fart.