Johnny Manziel Lost 40 LBS From a Strict Diet of Blow

LMFAOOO!!! Forever my fucking goat!! This is priceless; this is why I will always love Johnny Football. Back in the day all my teammates would call me Manziel, 1 because he was my favorite player of all time, and 2 because whether we won or lost, I was having the boys over after the game and we were boozing.

He ain't lying, though. It might not be the best way, but it is definitely the fastest way to lose 40 pounds. Why do you think I went from 230 to 200 so quick? I'm kidding, kinda; I work out and eat clean too. Anyway, I always related to Johnny even as a kid in high school. Small QB, but could wiggle; the only difference was he was actually good, and I was mid. I feel like I'm the Johnny Manziel of the Chicago office. We come off as "douchey," but deep down all our teammates/coworkers like us, and we'd do anything for them. We work hard, but we also like to party hard. Which is why I thank God every day for not making me a millionaire because if I were 24-25 years old with the money that comes from an NFL contract, I probably wouldn't be alive right now.

Never change, Johnny, my goat forever! (But maybe don't do enough blow to make you lose 40 pounds, so change a little)