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If You See Any Of These Things In Her Room, She's Cheating On You

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I can't stop watching Jersey Shore. They don't make shows like this anymore. It has everything you need and more. However, I don't know how any of these girls went on the show with boyfriends. It's not like it mattered anyway; it only took one full episode for them to cheat on their boyfriends. Although it makes for good TV, it also makes for a shitty way to find out your girlfriend cheated on you. I don't think there's a more humiliating way to find out your girlfriend has been cheating on you than it being aired out on a reality TV show. Which is why I'm writing this blog. Just kidding, I was staring at my computer for an hour and couldn't come up with anything, so I asked Nicky Clicky for a topic and this is what he gave me.

If you read any of my blogs, you know English and grammar are not my thing, which is why my title might be a little misleading. What I was trying to say in the title was: Here are the 5 worst pieces of clothing to find in your girlfriend's room to find out if she's cheating on you. See what I mean? Long and confusing.

Fuck it let me shut the fuck up and rip this real quick.

5. XXXL T-Shirt That Isn't Yours

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My dad wears a XXXL so I have the green light to say whatever I want. If you find a XXXL shirt in your girls room, just turn around and go home brother. You know she was using his stomach like a horse saddle for the entire ride. There's no coming back from that champ. Back to the gulag you go.

4. Saturdays Are For The Boys Merch

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Listen, I love Saturday's are for the boys, but that alone should tell you everything you need to know. If you walk in your girls room and see a men's "Saturdays Are For The Boys" shirt laying on her floor, you're cooked buddy. You already know she just got filled by the biggest fuck boy at the function. Sorry champ, back to the gulag you go.

3. A Flannel 

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Nicky Clicky just fucked your girl. Let me know how you're coming back from that. I'll wait….. Back to the gulag bitch.

2. White Nike Dad Shoes

Everyone's seen em. Everyone knows what they are. These are the Grill Master 3,000's. You see a man over the age of 30 rocking these, and you know he's got at least 3 kids and a mistress. Unfortunately, for you, your girlfriend is his mistress. The man already has 3 kids, you think he cares about a fourth? Get out of there before you raise a child that isn't yours. Back to the gulag you go.

1. White Boxers With Skid Marks 

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Fellas, we've all been there. It's not our fault, white underwear should have never been created. Why would we wear a pair of boxers that are the same color as the thing we use to wipe our ass? It never made sense to me. Anyway, not only did he pipe, but he shit in your girls room before. Not only did he shit in her bathroom, but there wasn't enough toilet paper to finishing wiping, and since it's not his girlfriend, he was too embarrassed to ask for more, and decided to just pull up his white boxers and let them finish the job…. And then he laid pipe. Back to the gulag you go.