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Saturday Night In Arrowhead Will Be So Cold That You Can Buy a Ticket for $55

I'd rather have someone leak my dick pic than sit in a stadium for four hours with a high of 3 degrees. I went to Pittsburgh in 2016 for the Dolphins wild card game, and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. Not only was it 5 degrees, but the Steelers media team felt the need to post what it feels like with wind chill: -10 degrees. I was cooked. I had hand warmers in my beanie, my gloves, my pants, my boots, you name it—I put a hand warmer in there. It was so cold that your beer would freeze in your hand, it was fucking miserable. My feet were so cold I started running laps around the stadium to warm them up. The funniest part of the whole trip was me and my boys thinking we were going out after the game LOL. We got back to the hotel and turned our shower into a sauna. I dead ass sat on the floor and held a blow dryer to my chest for an hour. Every time I took a breath I felt like Arya Stark was stabbing me in the chest with that ice knife. It took until Tuesday for my body to fully defrost. You couldn't pay me to relive that experience, which is why the Chiefs tickets are at an all-time low.

I can assure you, you will never see another lower bowl ticket for a Chiefs playoff game for $106 again. If you're a season ticket holder and got them at face value, I feel bad for you because you are definitely losing money on Saturday night. Not only are you losing money, but you're also losing the game. The Miami Dolphins will go into Arrowhead and leave victorious. Then they will get manhandled by Baltimore but at least the playoff streak of 24 years will come to an end.