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Darius Slay Comes At Philly Media And Eagles HOF Linebacker Seth Joyner For Saying He Played Scared

Ugh. 

You know what's worse than getting dick waxed on your own home field in the biggest game of the year? Well, not much, really. That was a straight up soulsucking endeavor the Eagles put themselves and all of Philadelphia thru yesterday. But having players like Darius Slay, who objectively had a SHIT game, decide to clap back at fair media criticism certainly doesn't help the team. Or anyone. There's just no need. In fact, just send all possible confrontations to Big Dom and call it a day.

Now Seth Joyner has been a full Moby Bick of a blowhard against the Eagles this year, but he's not exactly wrong here. And I can even see why Slay got his biddies in a bunch. Nobody wants to be called scared - ESPESCIALLY in the NFL. But let's be real, ever since Asante Samuel made his OLEY Bullshit a regular thing in the NFL, cornerbacks haven't exactly been itching to crack skulls on the field. It's just the way the game and position has gone. Just...live and let live after a blowout loss, man. Don't more attention to the situation on social media. Now we have a good ol' fashioned Streisand Effect on our hands when it comes to Darius Slay and tackling. Now he's basically forced to lay his body on the line and singly-handedly bring backed JACKED UP (which would be awesome btw) or he's confirmed a coward. Sorry, Big Play Slay. Them the rules. 

Now let's all ignore the fact the LB's are a real, deadly problem for this Eagles team, take a deep breath, and move on from this disaster of a game. In fact, here's some JACKED UP clips from 2004 to cleanse the football pallet because the second I think/type out the phrase JACKED UP you instantly have to watch JACKED UP clips. It's the mental version of coming across Shawshank on TV. You don't ask questions. You just stop what you're doing and watch. 

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And for those not familiar with Seth Joyner, he's not one you go out of your way to fuck around with. Why? Because you'll find out. The man was one bad mama-jamma for the old Nest Of Death. I don't care if he's approaching 60-years-old. This man has done some serious shit in shoulderpads that blocked out the sun in the best MC Hammer fade money could buy. God rest the Gang Green. 

UPDATE: OK DARIUS!