Having To Admit Your Not Actually 6'0 Is Devastating

I mean just fucking kill me at this point. It's a secret as old as time everyone who's 5'11 just says they're 6'0. I don't give a fuck what that tape measure says, it's wrong, I'm 6'0 and anyone who disagrees can suck my ass. Now I know what it feels like to be Kyler Murray. Everyone just editing me into some midget dwarf. Where is HR when you need them!? This is supposed to be MY day, not yours! The Dolphins won, I should be getting my back rubbed and grapes fed to me like the Roman King I am. You will be hearing from my friends dad who is a lawyer very soon!

It's a college basketball event like no other. The 2023 Barstool Sports Invitational takes over Wintrust Arena in Chicago on Wednesday, Nov. 8. One night, two great games: Loyola Chicago vs. FAU at 6pm CT and Miss. State vs. Arizona State - 8pm CT. Get tickets now: barstool.link/invitational