Not Only Did The Dolphins Manhandle The Patriots, But I Got To Manhandle My Boss

This is why Barstool Sports is the greatest company on Earth. Name one other place on Earth where you can sit there for 4 hours and manhandle your boss in front of 38K people. When I walked in the cave on Sunday morning, I didn't know what to expect, or how I should act. I was going to take it easy on Dave out of respect for him changing my life, but once the Pats went up 7-0 and he gave me the stare down, it was over. 

The Pats jumped out to a 7-0 lead and Dave thought shit was sweet! Little did he know I had him right where I wanted him. You see, if we blew them out from the jump, there wouldn’t have been any smoke. I wanted him to actually believe they had a chance at winning so I can fucking bury him and all his fake dreams about the Patriots. 

After having the Patriots shit down my throat for 20 years, it felt fucking amazing to sweep those sorry ass bums! Dave can say whatever he wants about Tua and his concussions but at the end of the day Tua is 6-0 against ole Billy Boy! The Patriots are dead and so are all of Dave's wildest dreams about this sorry ass New England Patriots football team.

We go to the judges for the official scorecard:

After 5 rounds all 3 judges score this fight 50-40 in favor of your winner by unanimous decision: Nicky "Dump Sack" Smokes