I Was Emotionally Destroyed By An Intern

It all started with a coffee run, which is maybe the most common daily activity for all New Yorkers.

Sunglasses on guarding my fluorescent eye lids, Olivia Rodrigo blasting in my AirPods making me feel something, and iced coffee pulsing through the veins in my calves (my best feature) like the roots of a Giant Sequoia. Vibes were high.

Until, I saw an intern on the street. Me and this intern are friendly, so I did what any other normal person would do- I nodded to the queen as we made eye contact. No words exchanged, just a friendly nod, but what happened next broke me as a person. 

She started GIGGLING. Not even a contained giggle, but an outburst of laughter. Just a glance and giggle, a hit and run that left me with massive amounts of emotional trauma.

What could I have done to make this person laugh? I was just strolling along the streets of New York with THOUSANDS of other people that were holding coffees, wearing sunglasses, and listening to Olivia Rodrigo in their headphones.

Watch the clip below to get an idea, we brought the intern in to recap the exchange. 

She saw me????????????? And started GIGGLING????? Because I was holding a COFFEE???? 

I start giggling when I see someone trip and fall on the street. NOT WHEN I MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ANOTHER PERSON. 

God help me. 

Below is a depiction/reenactment of what she may have seen when she SAW ME. 

Fuck, I would've giggled too. 

Go watch the full ANUS podcast here. The exchange with Payton starts at 16:45.