I've looked into the abyss and seen some baseball that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. But these last two days at Comerica Park were so embarrassing, so inept, and so frustrating that it made me reevaluate the qualifications for a Major League Baseball team. For people who have yet to pay attention (and why would you?), the Tigers came into the 4th of July weekend with an excellent opportunity to pique fans' curiosity going into the All-Star break.
Despite what the most optimistic fans have tried to preach, this fugazi pennant chase will never last. Detroit has once again fielded a terrible baseball team. We knew that coming into the season, but because this division is next-level terrible and loaded up with offenses that couldn't score in a whore house, the Tigers found themselves playing competitive baseball. Don't get me wrong, they backed into this divisional race with their asses out, but four games back is four games back. And guess what? The Oakland A's were coming to town. What's the worst that could happen? Well, we've now seen the worst.
Even the most die-hard of A's fans will admit that this baseball team is not even attempting to be good. They're bleeding like a stuffed pig until they inevitably move to Vegas. No one told the Tigers that. Based on what I've seen the last two days, the Tigers have been facing the 1989 Athletics. The A's awful offense recorded two hits in ten innings on the 4th of July. They won the game 1-0. Last night, what can I say? An actual showing of shit would've been less of a shit show. The Tigers' best hitter (Kerry Carpenter) has had one at-bat in two games. The offense is yet to score a meaningful run in two games against a historically godawful pitching staff. Sorry, but scoring three runs late in the ballgame when you're down 12-0 against Oakland does nothing for me. Eduardo Rodriguez returned from the I.L. for Detroit yesterday and got rocked. It was a disastrous showing for a team that received some well-deserved boos at the end of the night. Remember, Detroit almost NEVER boos their players, but they deserved it in this case.
This is so fucking tiring, man. How long is this agony going to continue? Look, long term, I still believe in new team President Scott Harris. This ship will get righted at some point, but when? Why does Detroit, as a fanbase, always have to be the ones who wait the longest? The Lions haven't won a playoff game in my lifetime. The
Washington Generals Detroit Pistons haven't won a playoff game in 16 years. The Red Wings haven't been good in a minute, and what sucks is that everything I'm complaining about was things we complained about five years ago. WHEN THE FUCK IS IT GONNA BE OUR TURN?!
I got people in my mentions telling me, a guy who hasn't missed a Tigers game since high school, that I need to be patient with Spencer Torkelson, who currently has a negative career WAR in almost two full years in the league. I'm not giving up on him, but Spencer Torkelson taking forever to develop speaks to a more significant issue. Reds fans didn't have to be patient with Elly De La Cruz. Orioles fans didn't have to be patient with Adley Rutschman. Diamondbacks fans didn't have to be patient with Corbin Carolll. Why is it always Detroit? Keep in mind; I'm not asking for first-ballot Hall Of Famers. I want good hitters. Say what you will about the current pitching staff in Detroit, but their biggest problem is they keep getting injured. It's not so much a matter of performance. But offensively, EVERY SINGLE YEAR, this team is at the bottom of every important offensive statistic. Can't you crack the top 15 one time? Even on accident? Jesus Christ!
There's no thesis here. This is just venting. Watching this team isn't some hobby anymore. This is my job. It was perfect timing when I got hired here because the Tigers would get good soon, and that'd be electric content. Thanks, guys. I will be handing out cigarettes again soon because you couldn't get your shit together. Having watched this team for the last seven years, I now completely understand why teams decided to cheat. Losing is MISERABLE. One day good fortune has to come our way. On a long enough timeline, good things happen to all teams at some point, right? I used to think that way. Now, not so much. Just fix it. Please get right, for the love of god.