Josh Groban Says You'll More Than Likely Get A Blow Job If You See Him In Concert
Stereo Gum- Josh Groban participated in a new 20 Questions feature for Playboy this week, and the interview started with a bang. The old-school crooner fielded a question about how to describe his music — a mix of operatic swells, showtunes, and big band jazz — and used it as an opportunity to suggest males who attend his concerts will probably be rewarded with sexual gratification later that night. Let’s skip straight to the action: You’ve sold more than 25 million albums of swelling, romantic ballads that make women weep. Your new album, Stages, is mostly Broadway songs from A Chorus Line, Les Misérables and other shows. For people who don’t know your music, how would you explain what you do? My music has always been a little hard to define. It’s rooted in more classically inspired pop music. In the 1960s, 1950s and 1940s there was a much more full, rich, fluid style of singing, everything from Johnny Mathis to Mario Lanza. I generally shy away from saying it’s opera or classical, out of respect for that music. It’s a more traditional pop music that people aren’t used to today. Emotionally, a lot of the stuff I do is romantic. I tell the guys who come to my shows, “This is two hours of a very long night.” Wink wink, nudge nudge. I’m the amuse-bouche, if you will. So can we look forward to the Josh Groban “You Will Get a Blow Job at the End of the Night” tour? [Laughs] Listen, no guarantees, but it is highly probable you’ll get a BJ — or at the very least an HJ — by the end of the night.
And that my friends is how you sell mother fucking concert tickets. That’s how you sell out arenas instead of bars. That’s how you become a worldwide star as opposed to a local act. Pure honesty on Mr. Groban’s part there. You know what I don’t wanna hear from somebody promoting an album or a concert tour? The same old shit that we always hear like “This is my best album yet” or “I was really inspired while writing the lyrics and they will speak to a lot of people” No no no. That makes me want to sprint head-first into highway traffic. Especially for a Josh Groban concert. Girls will go to a Groban concert no matter what because his voice turns their lady parts into a Super Soaker. His promotion has to speak to men and speak he has. “Listen guys, I know you probably don’t care about my music. It’s for chicks and I know that. But here’s what I’ll say, if you come to my show with your girl, spend a couple hours with her I can almost guarantee you’re gonna get your dick suck” is a brilliant sales pitch. Because as much as guys hate going to stupid concerts with their girlfriend, that’s how much we love getting blow jobs. Sold.