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Did I Cock Up My Last Blog Because People Are Saying I Wrote Cock Too Much In My Last Blog

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I'm not one to mince words. I am, however, one to mince onions and various other food but the truth is the truth. I love onions! Why? Because you can mince them things any way you want. And mincing, lest we forget, is a food preparation technique in which food ingredients are finely divided into uniform pieces. Minced food is in smaller pieces than diced or chopped foods (basically a more refined cut than just chopping), and is often prepared with a chef's knife or food processor or in the case of meat by a specialized meat grinder. I've seen a cheese grater used and that's just fucking insane. You gotta be an absolute wildcard to try that. 

Further, in a true mince, the effect is to create a closely bonded mixture of ingredients and a soft or pasty texture but not too soft of pasty. However, in many recipes, the intention is for firmer foods such as onions and other root vegetables to remain in individual chunks when minced.

I don't do that with my word. I don't chop em up. I don't mince em. I use my words sparingly because no one likes a verbose handsome man, but I dont mince because I typically speak in a forceful and direct way, especially when saying something unpleasant to someone while also being incredibly succinct. 

That's the version of the word I'm using. Mince.

To clarify, I don't mince words. Thousands of people across the globe have accosted me like my name was Jim. 

MICHAEL REYNOLDS. Shutterstock Images.

How did they accost me? Well, I'm getting DMs, tweets, emails, and even mailed letters complaining about how often I used the word cock in my last blog. It was only 15. That's minimal cock usage where I come from. Thankfully, no one has sent me any Tiktoks. I think I owe congress a bit of gratitude for that because if it wasn't for the hearings, Id be a wreck right now. I couldn't take negativity from another social platform and china spying has NOTHING to do with it. I love having my data stolen. What the fuck am I supposed to do with data? I have zero use for it. To me, data is like a condom. You'd like to have a safe condom (lamb skin) on your cock but you're better off without it. Tiktok and going condomless both feel good. It feels dirty to say but it's true. 

I counted in my last blog. Only 12 cocks. To me, that's middle-of-the-road cock usage. One week in 2017, I think I used the word cock over 23 times at dinner. We were at Golden Coral so it aint anything Cindy- my favorite waitress- hasn't heard before LMAO. She loves it. When I say it by those little chicken wings, she cracks up. "It's the cock guy again." I stand up and thrust a little bit and people lose it. Can you believe that? They go nuts. 

Anyway, imagine having your eyes gaze upon cock after cock after cock after cock. After cock. It would be a cock nightmare. It would be a cock thunderstorm. It would be a cock catastrophe. It would be a canoe full of cocks flowing down the river like ole Tom Sawyer and Cockleberry Finn on their way down the mighty missasip. 

But, I'm not against constructive criticism. After all, it's been a fortnight since I really dusted off the ole blogging fingers but today, yall got fingered fucked like I used to do in the movie theatre ESPECIALLY during Titanic. Who could blame me though? Paint her like one of those French Girls, indeed. Perfect nipples. FACTS. 

Maybe things are different on the blog now. Maybe it's more sports focused. Maybe it's pop culture that gets the clicks a-goin now but I'd bet there is a huge market for a good cock blog. Cock blogs have been a staple of my nearly seven years here but I can stop. I can dial it back. If cock is too controversial, I won't say cock again. Add that to the list smh. No cock. No pussy. We used to be a proper county and proper blog. 

When it comes to the word cock, each person is entitled to their own sexual proclivities. May a thousand blossoms bloom as far as I'm concerned but I ain't gonna spend any more time on it because every 90 days in North Queensland, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile. 

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Anyway, here's wonderwall.