Heist Of The Century: Two Men Arrested After Robbing 9 Vegas Banks Over 20 Days, For A Grand Total Of...$6,100
RJ - A man accused of robbing nine Las Vegas Valley banks with an accomplice over a 20-day period wore a medical mask, passed a note to tellers threatening to blow up the businesses, the Metropolitan Police Department reported.
Brad Alden Haino, 41, and his alleged wheel man Thomas Robert Turner, also 41, were arrested on Wednesday on South Nellis Boulevard following a spree of robberies and attempted robberies, police stated in an arrest report.
The alleged robberies of nine financial institutions in Las Vegas and Henderson occurred between Jan. 12 and the time of their arrest on Wednesday, police said.
Both men face a combined 24 counts of robbery, attempted robbery, burglary and conspiracy to commit robbery, according to court records.
I gotta tell ya, if you ever fall on rough times, I don't see why you wouldn't rob a bank. I'm not condoning it, I would never sit here and suggest you break a law, but it's just common sense based on how god damn easy it is to still rob a bank. Bank robber resistant technology has not improved a single iota since 1856. With all the advancements in technology, satellites that can take your picture from space, facial identity-recognizing cameras that can have you banned from any arena in America...none of it matters. Anyone, on any given day, can waltz into a bank and waltz out with a bag of cash, easy as cake. Again, I'm not suggesting you do it, I want that clear for the record...buttttt if you're down on your luck and the other option is to occupy a stall at Hurricane O'Reilly's, maybe give the ol Chase Bank a try.
On the other hand though, what a pathetic operation these two are running. 9 banks for $6,100? My god, these are either the most unlucky or just the worst bank robbers of all time. If you're going to risk a decade in jail you have GOT to make more than $6,100. That's barely a security deposit in NYC. $677 per bank is so far below the Mendoza Line of bank robbers there is no way these guys are invited to the Christmas Party. (In this scenario, the bank robbing community holds an annual Christmas Party, obviously). I bet they are laughed at in bank robber group chats across the country. "Ya hear about Brad and Tom? Yup. $6100. Lmaoooooooooo". Just a pathetic haul for these guys.
I do give them credit for the amount of volume though. Brick by brick, baby. But at some point you gotta look at the pros and cons of $677 and wonder if federal prison is worth it. I'd personally say no. My federal prison minimum would be somewhere in the millions, but to each their own. If I was robbing banks and by the 7th bank I hit I still hadn't even cleared $10k, I think I'd look into a job at Chick-Fil-A instead. Better benefits and Sundays off. And if worst came to worst, I'd simply gain 250 pounds, yell at a TV during a Sun Belt college basketball game, and get a job at Barstool Sports. Seems as easy as robbing a bank.