A Girl Burned A Cheating Ex On Facebook But It Got Even Worse For Her As People Kept Replying
So the gist here: A girl named Kelly found out her (now ex) boyfriend had another girlfriend with whom he was also in a long-term relationship. She then posted this photo on Facebook in an attempt to shame the guy, Jake. And I love it because it’s such a textbook “Girl with Facebook relationship drama” situation, to the point where I don’t want to spoil the journey for you guys (hence the clickbaity headline even by my standards). For example, you’ve got:
Your people racking up easy likes with generic Internet memes with varying degrees of corniness.
Guys immediately white knighting into the thread with jokes or seemingly earnest but lame nice guy support, both of which are completely naked attempts at trying to get in the girl’s pants.
Kelly loving every second of the attention and spinning it like she’s the winner and she just feels bad for the girl and Jake. In her mind right now she’s being a gracious winner taking her bows and waving her hand like a beauty queen.
BUT HERE COMES A TWIST!
Turns out Jake had been hitting up another girl besides his two long-term relationships. Why it’s almost as if he’s some sort of disreputable character. Also dude LOVES the “Hey” or “Heyy” pickup attempt:
Obviously I don’t know Kelly’s non-social media reaction but at this point but I don’t think it’s quite the same “Oh I feel so awful for the other girl.” In fact, I bet it looks a lot more like that emoji she posted than she intended. I get the “rah rah girl power” whatever but you don’t date someone for nine months and not feel like a huge dick as tons of chicks come out and blow your ex’s spot from while you dated. Especially since it kept going with EVEN MORE girls.
Sick burn, Brooke. That’s more than seven digits anyway, act like you understand how the phone system works.
I don’t even know why those chicks felt like posting those last two…if you’re telling him about your boring ass life with Chandler and company and resting, he wasn’t barking up the wrong tree. Just played the texting card too fast, classic Jake overenthusiasm.
Meanwhile as the army of creeped-upon chicks keeps coming, Kelly apparently is picking up more information as we go. Turns out Jake’s not only chucking Hail Marys, he’s converting them too:
I’m not saying Jake is a hero or a genius or anything. I’m not saying he’s a good guy by any stretch. But at this point you kind of have to respect it. The guy gets results. Maybe a lifetime batting average of .060 but with this many at bats it doesn’t even matter. And honestly the other guys vacillating around Kelly’s life make it easier to sympathize with Jake:
“See bro you reply this way so chicks know you’re hilarious but have a sensitive side. You show them you’re different by blowing up her phone with friend zone jokes, call her bro while sprinkling some ‘Lol’ and multiple ‘lmaos’ in the mix. She’ll be putty in your hands.”
But Kelly, clearly so over the situation that Black Twitter crying with laughter emojis were being deployed, decided to go back through old texts and post them too:
To the point that poor Jake was cyberbullied off of Facebook:
So what’s the lesson here? It’s easier than ever for shady things you do to come to light, especially when it’s conveniently stored away in random chick’s Facebook Messenger apps. Mix in a Snapchat sometimes. Or just don’t be a creep, either/or. Either way, we should all thank Jake for his sacrifice. Now we know. Hey is for horses.
PS Hey John, suck a dick.
(h/t DDP)