It's Catastrophe on a Global Scale as Someone Secretly Recorded a Dolphins Practice and UC Barstool Posted Them!

I am shocked, SHOCKED! to see such a thing here in 2022. Shocked. Thunderstruck. Dismayed. Horrified. Overwhelmed. Aghast. How can such a thing as someone surreptitiously pointing a camera at an NFL team at practice be allowed to happen? Have we as a civilization learned nothing from the mistakes of the past? 

We know one thing for sure: Roger Goodell will not take this lightly. No commissioner of any league worth their tens of millions in salary would tolerate spying of any kind by one of their teams. Unless of course, the sport is MLB and the team that did the spying wins the World Series. Then it's kind of a gray area. Mistakes were made. There was some misinterpretation of a few rules. But they had nothing to do with wins and losses. That sort of thing. 

Come to think of it, the NFL has also dealt with spying by looking the other way at time or two:

Or to put it differently, Ginger Satan is sort of selective when it comes to enforcing the rules against videotaping opponents. Meaning some can get away with it, others get dragged off to the stockade on the village green, pelted with rocks and garbage, and get draft picks taken away. Which is to say one franchise gets punished, the others don't. 

I mean, have the NFL's broadcast partners who acted like a capital crime was committed in Week 1 of 2007 when a Patriots employee filmed the Jets from an area of MetLife different from the one where filming the Jets is allowed launched an investigation into these recordings yet? How about the ones who still report the Pats had a tape of the Rams Super Bowl walk through in 2002, even though John Tomase, The Boston Herald reporter who "broke" the "story" admitted months later such a tape never existed? You'd assume they'd be all over a juicy story such as this like stink on a monkey. But so far?

Even a skeptic would have to admit this looks mighty fishy. After all, the Dolphins are the league's hottest team. They're playing the AFC champion Bengals, who are struggling. I'm not saying Cincy is guilty, but if ever there was motive to commit a crime of this magnitude, this would be it. And someone obviously had the means and the opportunity. So right now, all fingers point to them. 

How ironic then that the Bengals themselves were the victims of exactly this sort of nefarious plot a few years ago. Back when a videographer from Kraft Productions doing a feature of a Patriots assistant took some B-roll footage of the back of Cincinnati's bench:

In that case, even the camera guy turning over all his video files and cooperating fully with team security and the league didn't help. Even though he didn't work for the Patriots and wasn't on their payroll, the football operations was blamed and docked draft picks, the first and only time something like that has happened in the 100-plus year history of the league. 

So by that standard, someone posting actual footage of actual plays, formations, and calls of an actual practice that no one outside the Dolphins football ops should be privy to is a scandal of major proportions and huge implications. But then again, unless the Patriots were behind it, we'll never hear another word about it. And I'm not ruling out Kommissar Goodell pinning it on them.