Bills Stampede Over Rams On NFL Opening Night As LA Has One Of The Worst Week 1 Showings By A Super Bowl Champion In 20+ Years

The Buffalo Bills entered Thursday's 2022 NFL season opener as the Super Bowl favorite, and did little to dispel that notion against the reigning champs in a 31-10 Week 1 ass-kicking.

At this point, I'm formulating a new philosophy. In instances where there's a QB I really like as a passer like Matthew Stafford, if there's a dude on the other sideline who has a comparably freakish throwing limb and can stiff arm and truck stick hapless adversaries a la Earl Fucking Campbell, I reckon I'll roll with said dude. Said dude is Josh Allen.

I was skeptical about Ken Dorsey replacing Brian Daboll as the Bills' offensive coordinator. Allen saw his completion percentage dip by about six points last year from 2020. I marked that as a red flag before kickoff. All he did on Thursday was come out and complete his first 10 passes before getting drop-intercepted.

In fact, Allen had to overcome Buffalo tailback James Cook fumbling on his first NFL carry and another INT in the first half alone. Good news was, the visitors' defense showed up to SoFi Stadium ready to rock, and Allen made no fewer than six jaw-dropping plays, mostly thanks to either his crafty ball-handling, unique athletic ability and strength, absurd downfield accuracy or some combination of those elements. The scoring began with the season's first TD to Gabriel Davis:

Then, later on, facial-ing the ever-loving shit out of Nick Scott and quite literally dunking on Bobby Wagner at the goal line for an insurance tuddy:

That last punishing jaunt by Allen was set up by this 47-yard bomb to Davis, as Buffalo went 9 for 10 on third down, compared to LA's 6-for-13 success rate.

A 24-10 edge wasn't enough. Allen got greedy for more. In this case greed was good, as Stefon Diggs made one of his eight catches on nine targets for 122 yards on this 53-yard strike in Jalen Ramsey's eye:

Josh Allen wasn't even playing his sharpest football and still finished 26-of-31 passing for 297 yards and 3 TDs. He ran for a team-high 55 yards on 10 carries including the final kneel-down. Does he have something a little extra for whenever he faces Ramsey? Shit I'm starting to think so.

So on the Rams' side of things……..umm at least you still have Cooper Kupp (13 catches, 128 yards LOL), whose toe-tapping footwork in the end zone, along with Matt Gay's bomb of a 57-yard field goal, helped keep the Rams tied at 10 entering halftime. 

Uuuuuuuuuugly showing overall for Thursday's hosts. Just BAD.

Since 2000, those who held the Lombardi Trophy were 19-3 in Week 1 games. Sean McVay had gone 5-0 in season openers, winning by an average of 16.6 points. Reasonable to like the Rams in this spot, no? 

So yeah, this egg laid by the Rams in Los Angeles before an embarrassingly pro-Bills crowd was, indeed, one of the worst beginnings to a title defense in NFL history.

As someone who strongly believed LA would win tonight and come out firing on all cylinders, well, this was a pretty fucking frustrating game to watch. It was as if newbie Dorsey was the brainiac brilliant play-caller and universally acclaimed Rams coach McVay was mistaking the call sheet for a City of Angels fine-dining menu.

Zero urgency. A lazy, dubious game plan to establish the run between the tackles with elementary designs. Not even starting CAM AKERS (three carries, zero yards) who, you know, is way more explosive than pun-intended battering ram Darrell Henderson. 

The Rams' o-line lost key members in left tackle Andrew Whitworth to retirement and guard Austin Corbett to free agency. It showed against the likes of Von Miller, who funnily enough was integral to LA's championship run. Miller was hounding Stafford all night. His ripple effect on the rest of Buffalo's defensive uglies up front led to seven sacks without the aid of a single blitz (you read that right), and forced the gunslinging Stafford into three interceptions.

Did I mention Allen Robinson is on this one and only random fantasy league I do? That was fun. The same man who made big bird salad out of big bird shit QBs in Jacksonville and Chicago was a classic milk carton case tonight. One catch for 12 yards on two targets. Unfuckingbelievably bad start for A-Rob in his new home. Kupp is drawing all the coverage! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?

Just my two cents: If your blockers are struggling to hold up in five-man protections, STOP running empty sets, Matty Staffs! Oh, and Sean McVay, would it kill your soul to mix in just a liiiiiittle bit of tempo offense to try to wear down that Buffalo pass rush? Seemed like there was an allergy to such tactics. Oh well. It's only one game, right?

Odell Beckham Jr., who Robinson is stepping in for at WR2, was in attendance and immediately told people not to overreact to Week 1 (like we always do) and declared Buffalo the AFC favorite.

I tend to agree with OBJ here. We all should. He's right. But DAMN, do the Bills look like they're living up to the hype, and boy do the Rams look like they're in serious jeopardy of missing the playoffs even in the weaker NFC! I'm being facetious about that last part at least. I think McVay and Stafford come to their senses, find ways to get Robinson the ball and flat-out produce better against weaker opposing fronts and once that reworked offensive line has a little more time to jell.

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