Keyshawn Johnson's Atrocious Bengals Takes Will Hate-Fuel Cincinnati Fans All The Way To Training Camp

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Rookies don't report to Cincinnati Bengals training camp until July 23, and veterans follow on July 26. That's not too far away, but far enough to where fans are pretty much starving for any morsel of content or spark of any kind to keep their passion for the NFL going until the action picks up again.

I was hoping to kinda chill before the frenzy of NBA free agency tips off tomorrow. Then of course I got triggered by what I saw today. On one hand, cool, a chance to cover the Bengals — a big reason why I'm here in the first place. On the other, damnit, I'm tired of this ignorant shit that gets spewed by the national media.

Well thank you, Keyshawn Johnson, for being an ignoramus. The classic "OH THEY GOT FILM ON HIM" argument for a Joe Burrow regression, combined with the audacity to not feature Joey B. in the top five most nightmare-inducing quarterbacks for opposing coaches. Let's start with that first one.

This fucking guy.

The Brett Kollman rebuttal I featured above when including Keyshawn's original remarks is fine enough, but why not turn to a former All-Pro Cincinnati right tackle in Willie Anderson to further dig into why a fellow ex-player's drivel is wildly inaccurate.

Then let's just rip the Band-Aid off of this one. In addition to neglecting Tom Brady and Justin Herbert, Keyshawn excluded Burrow from his arbitrary list of "scariest" QBs:

If you're gonna be a scary QB, you might need, like, functional passing ability, adequate weapons around you and a solid play-caller/head coach. Lamar Jackson can run well, but that's starting to take a physical toll on him, and his receiving corps is trash. Kyler Murray gets hurt every year and threw a social media hissy fit this offseason. He can implode at any moment, like he did in laying an egg in his playoff debut (reminder: Joe led the Bengals to the AFC crown). Patrick Mahomes has lost Tyreek Hill, and the aging, increasingly-less-interested-in-football Aaron Rodgers has lost Davante Adams.

I'll give you Josh Allen, Keyshawn, even though he's now without the offensive coordinator in Brian Daboll who helped catapult him to superstardom. Burrow with Ja'Marr Chase, Tee Higgins, Tyler Boyd, a massively upgraded o-line, and Joe Mixon in the backfield? That ain't top-five scary? With the same system in place?

With all of Keyshawn's dumbass rhetoric making the rounds today, I don't think it was some wild coincidence that NFL Research posted this information little more than an hour ago:

But OH YEAH Keyshawn, I'm sure teams have definitely figured the Bengals out. Opponents are so dialed-in on what they're going to do. I'm sure Zac Taylor, Burrow and the entire offense won't adjust at all. They'll still run the same shit as last year. No tweaks whatsoever. Those numbers are so inflated by…um…not sure what BUT THEY'RE INFLATED. And stuff.

If you think a hyper-intelligent, tireless worker like Joe Brr isn't going to push this offensive system to evolve, you're an idiot. I don't know what else to tell you. Keyshawn, do you realize Cincinnati's success in 2021 was in spite of having one of the NFL's worst offensive lines? The Bengals aren't the cheap asses they were in years past and were proactive in free agency, signing three new starters in that group: Ted Karras at center, Alex Cappa at right guard, and La'el Collins at right tackle.

In case you missed my fucking fire debut blog about this, here:

Keyshawn is acting like Burrow isn't already one of the smartest QBs in the league. Dude was making full-field reads and checking in and out of plays at the line of scrimmage in college at LSU. For the first time since he's gotten to the NFL, he has a full, healthy offseason to prepare for the new year. More reps in the books with all his skill players. Again, better play in the trenches, which will enhance the running game, play-action and keep him upright more often. 

Burrow can win the pre-snap chess match, and even when he is fooled post-snap, he has the composure to quickly diagnose what he's seeing and make the proper play more often than not. Keyshawn seems to imply he's some limp-dick, barely starting-caliber QB who, like many young field generals, can't move off his first read and needs pass-catchers to be schemed open for him. Even in the rare instances Joe doesn't know where to go, he's as healthy as he's ever been to extend plays with his legs, and oh by the way, has a first-team All-Pro WR1 in Chase to just "Fuck it, Ja'Marr's down there somewhere" to.

When it comes to Bengals talk, Keyshawn, give me the damn ball…honestly give it to anyone who actually knows what the hell they're talking about.

Follow me on Twitter or go fuck yourself — or tell Keyshawn to shove it (@MattFitz_gerald)