Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man Who Beat Up His Brother In Law With A Burrito?

A Florida man is facing a misdemeanor charge after allegedly battering a teenage relative with a Taco Bell burrito. Police allege that Erik Brown, 36, throttled the 16-year-old boy in the face with the burrito during a February 15 domestic dispute at a Port St. Lucie residence. The victim told cops that he was having a “verbal altercation” with his mother and Brown, his brother-in-law, when Brown “asked his mother to bring him the burrito,” according to an arrest affidavit. Brown then allegedly threw the burrito “with force” at the victim, striking the boy in the face with the fast food item. While interviewing the teen, cops noted that he had “burrito cheese, sauce and meat all over his clothing and face.”

Brown told police that the victim was disrespectful to his mother and had cursed at the woman. He also acknowledged that he had “delivered” the burrito. After being booked into the county jail, Brown warned that he would “take care” of the teen upon his release from custody, adding that the victim “was going to get knocked out.” According to online records, Brown, seen above, is scheduled for a March 20 arraignment in Circuit Court.

See this is what Pres doesn’t understand. He fundamentally doesn’t get the versatility of the Burrito.  Sometimes you eat it when you’re drunk. Sometimes you eat it when you’re sober. Sometimes you eat for breakfast. Sometimes you eat it for dinner. And sometimes when you’re a 36 year old grown man with a 16 year old Brother in law, you use the burrito as a weapon to beat his face in. Can a pizza do that? Can a pizza beat someone up? Can a pizza be used as a weapon? Can a pizza THROTTLE someone in the face? No. Pizza is good for being delicious and causing fake heart attacks, that’s it. You want a dynamic food, you go burrito, all day, every day, literally, like for the first time in my life I actually mean all day, every single day.

El Gato Grande Out.