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Haaardddoooo International Journalist Fluently Speaks Six Languages Right In Our Damn Faces

I don’t wanna be impressed but it is with a heavy heart that I announce that I am impressed. When I went back to school after the Marine Corps, I started taking Spanish. I mean, after all, I live in San Antonio and it would be very beneficial for me to know that language here. As of now, I can only ask where the library is and if I am permitted to use the restroom or not. 

My lack of language skills is not because I lacked effort. I gave it the legit ole college try. Hell, I tried for two semesters just in Spanish. Was I successful? Well, in the words of my Spanish-speaking friends, no. I failed each time. 

My language battle was not over because I simply failed Spanish twice. Oh no, my friends. There was much more failure afoot. I switched languages again because my degree program required two semesters of foreign language, from Spanish to Russian and then finally to Sign Language. I didn't pass any of them but UTSA was kind enough to give me a waiver because I'm a fucking idiot who can't learn new languages. Apparently, it's damn near impossible to learn a new language with short-term memory loss. Who knew? Either way, I could never ever do what this fella just did. I'm wildly impressed. Well, I'm not impressed with Luxembourgish because he made that shit up. 

Anyway, I would like to invite him on ZBT -if he keeps that Luxembourgish trash to himself- where he is free to update us on Russia's invasion of a sovereign country anytime he likes. While we wait for him to give that update, we try our best.